Thursday, 30 January 2014

STAR JAWS: “He means business”

Welcome to the concluding part of STAR JAWS

The story so far, is way too unbelievable to even attempt to summarise, just go back a few blog posts and  you will see what I mean…

DR DOOM has got himself a Laser Sword and is trying to amputate one of Spider mans limbs (well if DOOM is following the plot of any of those Lucasfilm  movies, he would be), but what is this we see on the wall?

Yes it’s another sword, which also happens to be laser powered (or something) and lo thus does the clash of titans start, and lasts all of two panels, no striking down and making anyone more powerful than you can possibly imagine here, nope just a hit to Dooms tin noggin is enough to make him drop his laser sword and Spidey is running away quicker than you can turn the page over…

Spidey just appears at the hatch of Marvel Boys still thankfully unnamed space ship and they all escape the Star Jaws, Doom doesn’t really care thinking they will be mincemeat once the Star Jaws eats the earth anyway, but Spidey has a plan…. or he says he does….

Which seems to start with buzzing over the top of the pentagon without somehow being shot down or starting a major military incident…

And then all of our heroes causally enter The Pentagon, the fact they are not members of the military, have no means of identification and are costumed and some of them are wearing masks notwithstanding - they just walk into the major situation room, you know the one with the map of the world and where they chose the defcon and all that stuff and Marvel boy just outright asks for one million tons of TNT

To spare us any undue anxiety the general immediately agrees in the same panel, no questions asked, no what are you going to use it for, no well we don’t even have that much TNT,  no it's physically impossible to store that much TNT, no there isn’t that much TNT in the whole world, I could go on for ages with all the nos there should have been here

Mind being suitably boggled Marvel boys space ship takes off with a huge package of TNT in tow which it drops in space, now Moondragon needs to think hard

Can anyone guess what spideys plan is?

Moondragon somehow makes a full size illusionary earth in space around the TNT and despite this being illusion completely immaterial, and therefore would not show up on any kind of detection or radar device still DOOM choses the phoney earth and not the real one right next door to be swallowed by the Star Jaws…

At which point of course, we get a massive explosion, ironically enough actually bigger than the one used in the original movie (before it got upgraded several times in subsequent “Special Editions”) which somehow leaves the real earth completely unharmed…

And Doom and his Doombots are left floating in space holding onto a bit of metal, I guess running out of oxygen can’t be a problem because their must be air for them to be able to talk to one another…

Marvel boy drops off spidey at the Daily Bugle and he changes into Peter Parker to be met by a still angry MJ, who accuses him of “Playing on the beach”

I don’t know what MJ is referring to here, last we saw MJ she was in the woods at moonlight looking for a bit of romance, no beach there, no sir, maybe we missed a story here, the one where Peter Parker stars in a homage to the infamous Charles Atlas ad? But that is just pure speculation (…or is it?)

And MJ waves a copy of the daily bugle that proclaims that the earth has been saved, as MJ puts it by some “Real Heroes” implying that peter is not one for bravely sending her away while he remained to face the danger of that UFO crash… which was not on beach and mercifully the story comes to THE END!


No comments:

Post a Comment